Café O’Portugues Westcliff… a little taste of Portugal!

November 15, 2017 by Foodie Rich

I wasn’t going to write this. For months it’s been at the back of mind, should I write about this place or not? I didn’t really think anyone else would share my enthusiasm for a simple cafe. Yeah, a café. It’s not flash, it doesn’t look inviting, it’s the sort of place if you were walking up Hamlet Court road in search of a full English, a spot of lunch or just a coffee you’d probably walk straight past. The same old faces seem to sit outside, day in day out. White van men, old retirees and often a few undesirables. Nope, it’s not inviting even in the slightest. It’s far from quaint, the chairs uncomfortable, and not at all cosy, with its over lit fluorescent glare. And don’t get me started on the Toilets. I mean what sort establishment hangs a towel by the sink for all to dry their hands on, ergh! BUT, I spend a lot of time here, why? Am I some sort of weirdo who comes here for his fix of all things rough and ready? Of course, not? So why? Well, why the hell do you think, it’s the food!

Café O Portugues is located at the bottom of Hamlet Court Road. So far, I’ve painted a pretty bad picture of this place. This I’ve done for a reason. I’m not going flower it up. I’m not going to tell you how wonderful it is, and how they serve the finest Columbian artisan coffee which is painstakingly filtered through pure woven silk. And not forgetting the food which is prepared by a chef whose CV reads like a ‘who’s who’ in the Michelin guide. Because that it certainly aint. Nope, Café O Portugues is gritty and unapologetic. I refuse to tell it any other way, but that’s why I love it. Trust me, for those who can push past its gnarly exterior, you will be rewarded.

Walking through the door of this un-inviting café is like stepping in to a Portuguese social club. Once you get past the bacon sandwiches and coffee, there’s a TV on the wall showing Portuguese football. A pool table to the rear where rowdy and competitive games are played amongst the local Portuguese expats. For me though, it’s all about the wonderful food that can be found within. Where the hell do I start? I know, TARTS, yep, custard Tarts! Known as ‘Pastel De Nata’ if you’ve been to Portugal you’ll know what I’m talking about. Once tried these innocent Portuguese sweet treats will have you under their spell. If you’re lucky, and I say lucky, because they sell like, well, ‘Hot Tarts’ you’ll find behind the counter a pile of these wonderful pastries. Baked in a small oven on the premises, a visit to this little café isn’t complete without one or two, or bag full to take away. The filling is great, but it’s the pastry that does it for me. perfectly crisp and flaky, I could eat mountains of these.

Look a little closer and you’ll see sardine paste. A local staple, every time I’ve holidayed in Portugal, whenever you sit down for a meal, complimentary bread and sardine paste is bought to the table. The sardine paste here is exactly the same as I remembered from those glorious days in the sun. However, for the real foodie, this café has a true Portuguese deli to the rear. It’s like an Aladdin’s cave where you can get everything from teabags to washing powder, and all from their homeland. The chorizo they sell I love, but I would encourage you to try their blood sausage. They call it Morcela Fumada. It’s along the lines of our Black Pudding, but better! I never thought I would say that, but get yourself a ring of this and simply fry it, grill it or even BBQ it whole and you’ll see what I mean. Its incredibly rich with lovely lumps of fat throughout, deeelish! In a cardboard box, you’ll find huge fillets of dried salt cod, or Bacalhau. This is the real deal, it stinks, but when rehydrated in fresh water it makes wonderful fish cakes or Brandade de Morue; a stupendously good salt cod dip. The tinned sardines are like nothing you’ll find in any supermarket, and don’t forget to have a root around in the freezer. In here they have all sorts of ready prepared croquettes packed with fillings such as veal or salt cod. Just shallow fried at home, they’re great beer snacks! I even picked up some huge octopus tentacles here the other week. cooked ‘low and slow’ in a spicy stew, it was excellent, as good as you’d find in any tapas bar.

Honestly, they sell stuff you will not find anywhere else. The Portuguese olive oil is off the scale. At £4.95 a bottle, I’ve never had such good oil for the price. Even the charcoal! Every summer I always but my charcoal here. Their lump wood charcoal is the best. Forget that measly crushed up charcoal we get in ‘ready to light’ brown bags! They have bags of lump wood containing whole logs of charcoal, perfect for my trusty Weber! Yes, the deli is like nothing else, but there’s one thing which I can’t get enough of, something which is so simple, and I never knew was traditionally Portuguese. At the weekend, if I’m ever feeling the effects of a few too many the night before, I head straight down here for the ultimate cure. A steak sandwich! Yep, doesn’t sound very Portuguese, but it bloody well is! In Portugal its known as a Prego, and this simple marriage of meat and bread is legendary. We’ve all had a steak sandwich, right? But the Portuguese do things a little differently. The steak is flattened with a heavy tool; basically, they hammer the shit out of it. Then garlic (a lot of garlic) is massaged in to the meat and fried. The crusty bread is lightly toasted, buttered, and the garlicky steak is added sprinkled with a little sea salt. Best eaten with a cold bottle of Super Bock, this simple sandwich is truly a thing of beauty; it just tastes soooo good, and a life saver the morning after the night before!

I’m not going to beat around the bush, Café O Portugues isn’t for everyone, it’s a simple, no frills café. As I said earlier, it’s not at all inviting, and can be frequented by a somewhat interesting crowd. But get past that and you will find a real Portuguese café with tonnes of character. I’ve been coming here for years, and love it. Lou and I call it ‘The Portuguese Social Club’ and that’s a pretty good description. Portuguese families congregate here, drinking coffee, maybe a little brandy, chatting and often getting rather raucous and over animated, whilst their children play quietly. It’s got real charm. Some people may not understand me, and would think I’m a little odd; why is he getting so excited over a café? But have you ever stumbled across a real local’s bar or café whilst on holiday, and wished we had something similar at home. Well that’s exactly what Café O Portugues is. Vida Longa Café O Portugues!