For the Love of Christmas

December 8, 2015 by Ray Morgan

For the Love of Christmas 

I had a funny moment when my landlord came round to my flat when he tried to navigate some large ladders through all the fairy lights that I've put up as part of my Christmas decorations. I realised that, to an outsider, my flat looks like the work of a Christmas obsessive. Fairy lights are hung in swathes across doorways. Festive knick knacks clutter every surface. I have candles on that emanate cloying, rich smells of cinnamon, oranges, cloves. The tree's up already, and has been since the 1st of December, and in my hallway is a 3 foot high advent calendar of baubles - you hang a different bauble from it on the tree every day until Christmas Eve.

Yeah, in short, I love Christmas. Well - actually, no, I love the build up. It's not about Christmas Day in fact. I love seeing family and eating nice food, but I do that anyway. I guess my love of scented candles and decorations are less about the actual day of Christmas, but more immersing myself in something positive and cosy during dark days and cold nights. It also makes me feel comforted by memories of my childhood, where I was lucky enough to have really lovely traditional Christmases. There are things we did as kids that we still do now. We've moved on slightly to keep up with technology; instead of all standing round when my Mum makes the Christmas cake, waiting our turn to make a wish while stirring, my Mum set up a WhatsApp group so we could all think our wishes at the same time. But the tradition is still there.

It's a strange one to describe: especially when I know a lot of people don't like Christmas, or find it difficult, or are lonely or down this time of year. Naturally, Christmas is really hard for people who have lost loved ones. I worry about the lovely people in my life who have suffered great loss, and feel it more than ever this time of year. There is something about Christmas that just highlights these things. And endings are tough - and we're hurtling towards the end of the year with such gusto, it can only make you reflect.

I feel conflicted this time of year. I feel bad sometimes that I love feeling "Christmassy" when great friends don't like it because of various personal circumstances. I'm always understanding about it, because I know everybody is different, and Christmas can be really bloody stressful, expensive, and emotional. The adverts depict nuclear families with dinner tables laden with expensive goods; a husband and wife, children, grandparents, pets. Tons of presents. Happiness, health and smiles. How many people in your life actually have that? And what about the people who don't?

I'm also an atheist, which means I am a massive hypocrite taking such pleasure in something that is basically all about Christianity. The clue's in the title, Rachel. CHRIST-mas. I manage to swipe aside my beliefs and say "Yay I get 10 whole days off! WOOOHOO" while watching Christmas films in Christmas leggings eating Christmas foods by Christmas tree light.

I also don't like the extreme over-indulgence we take part in. I spent a day Christmas shopping last week essentially haemorrhaging money as we do - taking part in the capitalist game of spend, spend, spend. But then I think about the joy on my nephew's face, for example, seeing his Toy Story themed presents, or the fact I can treat my elderly grandad to some posh biscuits for him to enjoy over Christmas. You see? Conflicted.

But while I know Christmas isn't high on everyone's love list, I try to use my enthusiasm for it in a good way. I will make time for all the friends I know who have had a difficult year. We can celebrate their bravery and strength and ring in what will hopefully be a better year. I will donate to charity as I do every Christmas, because if I'm spending money on presents for my family, I can afford to send some to people who really need it. I will use my time off to take stock and appreciate what I've got and how lucky I am - let's face it, given the horrors of the world today, we're pretty bloody lucky in our little Leigh on Sea bubble.

If you love Christmas - enjoy it, appreciate it. If you hate it - I totally understand. We're almost through; a new year is just around the corner.