The Southend Beer Mile

February 3, 2020 by Foodie Rich

It’s been a while! I only just realised this morning my last review was the Stoked Vegan BBQ pop up at the West Road Tap, and that was months ago; last summer to be precise! And why haven’t I been reporting back my foodie adventures! I dunno? That’s it, yep, no excuses I just haven’t put pen to paper. Slack of me I know. So, whilst sitting on the C2C this morning, bored of scrolling through endless and quite dull social media posts, I thought it’s high time to let you know what’s been going on over the past few months. 

Lou and I have been pretty busy when I think back. We’ve had brilliant lunches with friends in Suffolk, a fruits de mer to end all fruits de mers whilst enjoying the last of the summer sun at Aurum. More epic street food pop ups at the craft beer nirvana which is the West Road Tap. The best Oktoberfest ever and smoking hunks of pork and brisket on my beloved Weber Smokey Mountain, the list could go on.  But it’s not all been great, the devastation of the Leigh fisherman’s co-op hit me hard. I was a regular there and would pick up all manner of local seafood delights. But sadly, that’s just a distant memory, and a real loss to our community. But anyway, What I really wanted to tell you more about is something I’ve been meaning to write for months, and I’ve finally got around to it.

Who’s familiar with the Bermondsey beer mile? Actually over a mile, every Saturday the brewery’s and tap rooms along this legendary stretch of road open their doors, offering one of the finest craft beer crawls in London if not the UK.  Well, we now have something pretty similar on our doorstep.  Many of you know I have a love of craft beer. Locally we’ve seen a number of new bars opening up pouring some of the best craft beer in Essex. So much so, you can now venture out on the Southend beer mile. It’s a little further than a mile and will require a bit of travelling, but trust me, you will be rewarded. 

A few months back Lou and I decided to take on this challenge. During a rather boozy lunch at Aurum we got chatting about our local beer mile and decided the time was right.  Maybe this wasn’t the best idea we’ve ever had.  Yeah, I was keen to get involved, but already on the other side of a few cold drinks this could get messy. But what the heck! It was a Friday afternoon, we had the day off, no other plans, so let’s do this.  We cheated slightly though, this bar crawl is nick named the ‘Number 1 Bus Bar Crawl’ as all are accessible by hopping on and off the number 1 bus. But we were at Aurum, miles away from any bus stop. So, we hailed a cab and headed to the first port of call; the Crafty Half. What a lovely little place this is. Located along London road at the far end of the crawl, this bar is full to the brim with all manner of cans and bottles, and as you’d expect, it’s all craft! At this point our pissed level was probably 3 out of 10. This soon changed.  Let me just stop at this point. So, you can all understand, I am scoring our pissed level out of 10 at each venue.  1 being sensible and a little tipsy, 10 being, well I dread to think, but falling asleep face down in a doner kebab would be a good description.  

After arriving at the crafty half all was good. As I’ve already mentioned they have fridges packed to the brim with all sorts of crafty delights, but I saw a beer which always makes me smile. It’s a beer I’ve drank so often during weekends away in Amsterdam, where almost every bar has this wonderful Belgian tipple on draft; it’s La Chouffe! Ok, you craft beer enthusiasts I’m sure will be muttering under your breath ‘why choose this beer over some of the other amazing UK craft on offer?’ I can never resist a Chouffe so it had to be. Be warned though, this Belgian pale packs quite a punch at 8% so treat it with some respect, this is by no means a session beer. The first sip of this brew took me straight back to the canals of beautiful Amsterdam. Still on the Belgian theme Lou went for a Brugse Zot blonde. Another beer you can find all over the Dam, this relative light weight weighs in at 6% abv. Sipping our beer, we reminisced about good times in the Dam! We downed another, and by this time I reckon we were measuring a good 5 out of 10 on the pissed scale. We were still very aware of our surroundings and could quite easily string a perfectly understandable sentence together. 

Then things started to get a little dangerous. Nothing to do with strong Belgian beer, but something completely different. Slap bang next door to the crafty half is the ‘Leigh Record Exchange’. I am a vinyl junkie. I dread to think how much I have spent over years on vinyl, it’s a true addiction! So, put a great record shop next to an equally great bar and you’ll see my bank balance reduce significantly. Well I couldn’t resist it; the shop owners eyes lit up when he saw a tipsy Rich appear ready to spend some money. If I remember rightly, he was trying to flog me a rare Metallica album which I knew I couldn’t afford. It took all the effort in the world to resist the charms of the shop owner. I wasn’t that pissed, but still managed to spend £60. 

Anyway, back to the matter in hand; beer. I could’ve sat at the crafty half all afternoon, sipping beer and buying records. But It was time to head off to the next venue; Hoppily. All aboard the beer bus! I haven’t been on a bus for years, probably since my teens when I used to buy a £1.50 day rover, and travel all day! Times have changed now; no cash exchanged hands, they’ve got Wi-Fi, the bus itself is a little smarter, and it’s more expensive. That’s the bit which shocked me the most, the price.  It’s not that much cheaper than getting a cab! The bus is convenient, but at that cost I think I’ll be sticking to cabs.  However, this was the ‘Number 1 Bus Bar Crawl’ so bus transportation is mandatory. 

After my shock of the bus price we arrived at Hoppily.  Located opposite the Elms, Hoppily do things a little differently than the other craft beer bars on the route. They have a craft beer discovery club. It’s pretty simple, you pay a subscription and they send you beer; what’s not to like about that. I wrote a review about Hoppily a couple of years ago, but that’s when they just had the beer club, now they’ve got themselves a smart little beer lounge. Alongside serving up some great craft beer, they have live music, sport on tv and often host vinyl nights, and as we already know I have a weakness for vinyl. As with the crafty half, Hoppily have a fridge brimming with glorious craft ale, and also a few poured fresh from the keg. The pissed scale at this point was still measuring around 5. I think the shock of the bus price had sobered me up somewhat! I was in need of a beverage so after a root around in the fridge we chose our weapons and relaxed.

Now, I’m not going to bore you by explaining the intricacies of each beer we consume. Two reasons; this blog would go on forever, and all the beer you’ll find in these craft bars is good.  There’s a hash tag commonly used on Instagram which sums this up, #craftnotcrap. And that’s exactly it, it’s all good beer, no crap in sight. If you want a pint of Fosters head on over to the Elms, but if you want great beer, stay right where you are. I will confess, we did actually head across the road to the Spoons. The Elms isn’t officially part of this craft beer crawl, but we needed a quick snack to soak up some of that booze, and the Spoons makes a perfect venue. The beer ain’t too bad either, and the Spoons ‘app’ makes life so much easier. If you haven’t used the spoons app, I encourage you to do so, it’s great fun.  Simple things and all that!! You can also get involved with the spoon’s app game. The rules are as follows; grab a table, announce on social your table number and venue, then wait. The idea being your followers and friends on social media from anywhere in the world can send you (Via the app) all sorts of strange items from the menu. You’d normally expect things like a plate of peas, glasses of milk or a side salad! 

Anyway, I’m digressing here, this blog is meant to be about our local craft beer scene not the fun and games that can be had with a simple app! I’m also conscious how long this blog is, I am waffling on a little! With that in mind I’m gonna have to do this blog as a series. I’ve still got 4 venues to get around and I’ve already written over 1600 words! If I continued, by the time I’ve finished, this blog would resemble a volume of War & Peace, and you be bored to tears. So, this is a two-part series. Watch this space, part 2 will be posted soon; to be continued!