The Turkey Tradition Trap

December 8, 2014 by Ray Morgan

So, hands up: how many of you are having turkey on Christmas Day? Right.

Let me ask you another question: how many of you actually LIKE turkey? Like many things at Christmas, this is another tradition trap we've fallen into. It reminds me of a great scene in the Royle Family where, after Barbara has slaved over a Christmas dinner, she learns that none of her family actually enjoyed the turkey.

And I'll bet a lot of you are the same. Now, I'm a vegetarian, but I used to eat turkey on the big day too - because it was there. Because my dad had hauled it into the oven after a December skirmish in Marks and Spencer to get the best one. Because it's Christmas, and that's what you eat at Christmas, right?

Well, actually, I like it when you buck the trend. A Christmas dinner without turkey is a roast dinner that anyone, veggie or not, can have on any day of the year. And anyway, the real part of Christmas dinner is the cheese course for me. So this year, with my partner's family, we are having macaroni cheese and hot dogs for Christmas dinner. And I cannot wait! Last year, we had Mexican on Christmas Day. We dined on fajitas while listening to a Spotify playlist called 'Mexican restaurant' on a loop, and then I served tequila sorbet for afters. It was a hoot.

For me, food traditions are what you make them. For many years, my Christmas Day breakfast of choice was bacon and pancakes. Bit of a heavy-going tradition pre: dinner, that one. Best left in the past I say. My family has a tradition of eating curly fries on Christmas Eve with a festive drink at a bar in Leigh. Don't ask why, but this is what we do. It's not traditionally Christmassy (at least I don't remember there being curly fries with sweet chilli sauce at the stable), but it's our tradition and I like it.

I've also got into the habit of making sweet-flavoured vodka at this time of year - not very Christmassy, but a fun thing to make a great gift to boot. For the past three years, though, it's been Skittles... I think I need to mix it up.

My top 5 fave *conventional* festive treats:

1. Cheese, cheese and cheese. Stilton, brie, cheddar, PORT SALUT. Yes. Although nothing with cranberries in. Don't mess with my head
2. Those German soft, gingerbready-biscuity-cakes that are dusted with icing sugar, often in the shape of hearts
3. Sloe gin - but it has to be my mum's homemade version. None of this Gordon's ready made nonsense
4. Stollen; one of the few times I'll allow raisins into my life
5. Snowballs. The campest, frothiest delight. Just don't think about the fact it's made with egg and you'll be fine.